As her daughters slept and healed, she went out to meet with Jesus. She remembered His promising words. ““I will never fail you or abandon you.” She had not taken time to meet with Him even though she felt His presence. Now she needed to talk face to face with Him.
She sat on the dock and reflected on the day He had taken her for a boat ride in the storm. She lived through the storm even though she felt like she was losing her mind. She needed to look at Him now. She was losing the image of His eyes looking at her.
She waited. Her mind wondered off to her to-do list. Focus. She looked in the distance to see if He was coming. She waited. Her mind wondered off to the time she held her daughter for the first time. Her anxiety started to rise again. She had made so many mistakes. Accusing voices nattered to her heart. “Who do you think you are, trying to be a parent?” “Who do you think you are, talking face to face with Jesus? He only looks at purity and you are not pure.” Her head dropped to her chest. Her shoulders slumped over. Her fists clenched. Not this time.
She spoke boldly to the air in front of her. “I know I am nothing. I know I am not adequate. But God is all I need and I need to see His face right now because He accepts me for who I am and fills me with Himself.”
She stood up. She straightened her back with her shoulders back. And walked toward the figure moving toward her. She met Jesus under a tree and wrapped her arms around her. “Just hold me.” she whispered into his chest.
She felt His strength and embraced His control. They walked toward the water and sat on the dock dangling their feet in the water.
“Who were you talking to?” he asked.
She knew He saw who she was talking to. She took some time to think about her answer. “I don’t know its name but it finds me when I am not with you.”
“It has walked with you for a long time.”
“I used to enjoy its presence. It kept me from feeling lonely.”
“It also kept you from me.”